Bobby Fingers is an Irish artist currently working on a series of dioramas featuring media heroes. His previous work featured Mel Gibson being pulled over for DUI. (The “Are you a Jew” incident.) The current project has Steven Seagal being manhandled by Gene LeBell, an event that resulted in Seagal shitting his pants — or so some have said. Bobby Fingers interviewed a witness who gave him the straight skinny on this altercation, but more on that later.
Fingers creates his dioramas in 1:9 scale (like 8″ action figures) and makes a video as he does so. So you can watch this skilled artist at work as you listen to him describe the process. This is great stuff! But I should warn you that I am enthralled by videos of people crafting tiny shoes out of pencil erasers, so this may not be your jam. Here’s the Steven Seagal diorama:
This dramatic tableau depicts a meeting between Gene LeBell — famous wrestler, stunt man, jiu-jitsu expert, and trainer of people like Ronda Rousey — in a contretemps with Steven Seagal — martial arts trainer, movie star, and acolyte of the Dalai Lama. What happened is somewhat disputed, but: LeBell was Stunt Coordinator on Seagal’s 1992 movie, Out For Justice. There was some bad feeling between the two because LeBell thought Seagal was mistreating his stunt crew. Anyway, Seagal said that no one could choke him unconscious. LeBell disagreed. Seagal said, “Show me!” and LeBell grabbed him by the throat. Seagal instinctively (he says) slammed his arm into LeBell’s crotch and LeBell responded with an overarm sweep that put Seagal (!) on the ground. The two then shook hands and parted. But, back at the point that (!) appeared, Seagal crapped his pants. Or so some people say. Seagal claims they are lying.
Now these are two tough guys who can fight — LeBell was trained from childhood by Strangler Lewis and Seagal was raised in a dojo. LeBell once choked an opponent into unconsciousness in order to prove he was the better fighter. And Seagal once defended the USS Missouri from crazed terrorists. So there you are. Did Seagal really poo his pants? It turns out there was a witness who was interviewed by Bobby Fingers. (That’s right, if you watch this video, not only do you get to watch the creation of a stellar work of art, but you also learn the truth about one of the vexing questions of the Century. You should really watch it.) But the answer is, he probably didn’t, but who can really say?
When a diorama is finished, Bobby Fingers buries it in a secret place. Clues to the location are in the videos, says Bobby. If you can find it, you can have it. The Mel Gibson diorama has been discovered and it’s quite likely that the Seagal piece will be by the time you read this. And that brings up a question: Who’s next? One person referred to Fingers’ subject as “iconic embarrassing moments in the lives of famous monsters”. There’s no shortage of those, but finding this banal level of monster is tough.
Shrine of Dreams 