Cephalophores

Today, via a wonderful Wikipedia entry, I learned about cephalophores, who had not entered my consciousness before. A cephalophore is a saint who is depicted as carrying his or her own head.

St.Denis relief on the Cathedral of Notre Dame

St.Denis relief on the Cathedral of Notre Dame

Generally, this is represents a holy person martyred by decapitation. After the execution, the de-capped body picks up the head which proceeds to speak or pray.

"Martyrdom of St. Denis" in the Pantheon

“Martyrdom of St. Denis” in the Pantheon

The most famous of cephalophores is St. Denis of Paris who walked six miles carrying his severed head which recited a sermon the entire time. It might be worth mentioning that Denis is the patron saint of both Paris and headache sufferers.

ceph_Denis_statue

There are many cephalophores; France alone boasts one hundred and thirty-four. Perhaps the French prediliction for cephalophores reflects some Gallic racial memory of ancestral Celts who were notorious head-hunters.

Celtic door arch at Roquepertuse with niches for heads.

Celtic door arch at Roquepertuse with niches for heads.

Severed heads that speak are a folk-lore motif catalogued by Stith Thompson. They appear in Greek myth and Aristotle was very concerned that his readers understand that this was not possible. No, he said, it cannot happen.

St. Solange. Her severed head called out Jesus' name three times.

St. Solange. Her severed head called out Jesus’ name three times.

One speechless cephalophore was St.Valerie of Limoges. Apparently, Valerie and her mother converted to Christianity while Valerie’s fiancé was out of town. When he returned to find that the engagement had been broken off and that Valerie had given all her property to the Church (including her intended dowry, no doubt), he became very upset and dispatched a servant to kill her. The servant cut off her head, Valerie picked it up and ascended to Heaven in a ball of light, accompanied by singing angels.

St. Valerie's martyrdom depicted on an enamelled reliquary from Limoges.

St. Valerie’s martyrdom depicted on an enamelled reliquary from Limoges.

Gone to glory or not, Valerie left some earthly remains which were disinterred in 985 AD and distributed in numerous reliquaries which just happened to be a major Limoges product in medieval times.

Different styles of head carriage: Saints Gemolus, Denis, Miliau, Denis again.

Different styles of head carriage: Saints Gemolus, Aphrodise, Miliau, Denis again.

The Wikipedia article notes that the artist depicting a cephalophore is presented with a unique problem: where do you put the halo? But there is another artistic concern: how does the beheaded handle his detached cranium? Some hold it close to their chest, some thrust forward on outstretched palms, some carry it to one side, possibly tucked underneath an arm. Clutching it by the hair and dangling it from an outstretched arm is possible, but really makes the halo problem more difficult, I think.

St.Nicasius at Reims Cathedral [photo by Geert Schneider on flickr.com]

St.Nicasius at Reims Cathedral [photo by Geert Schneider on flickr.com]

Then there is the statue of cephalphore Saint Nicasius at Rheims. He holds his head in an over/under two-handed grip, thrusting it slightly forward with a slight tilt of the noggin. His halo is behind his neck stump where two small beings, possibly other saints, hold a cloth on which are displayed their own heads, thus creating a superb display of cephalophoria.

Heaven’s Maps

Sibusiso Mthembu, who lives near Durban, South Africa, has drawn a map of the way to heaven on the wall of his home. Pilgrims troop by to view this marvel and newspapers are reporting this as yet another weird event, something to chuckle over. But maps of heaven have been common throughout human existence and they are usually quite serious affairs.

Sibusiso Mthembu in front of his map to Heaven.

Sibusiso Mthembu in front of his map to Heaven.

Heaven is not necessarilly Paradise; it may be simply the Land of the Dead, the place human beings go after death. Still, it is a place and places are located by maps. Sibusio Mthembu is unusual, though, in that he has managed to return from Heaven. Usually this is a place that people only glimpse in dreams.

Journey of the Dead to Dhuwa, Land of the Dead for the Jiridja Australians, by Binyinyuwuy, 1948.

“Journey of the Dead to Dhuwa”, Land of the Dead for the Jiridja Australians, by Binyinyuwuy, 1948.

Humans have made maps for thousands of years but one culture’s version may be unreadable by other humans from other cultures. Maps derive from concepts of the World and people’s place in it. Medieval European maps used to place Jerusalem in the center and the known continents were arranged around it. The medieval concept of Heaven has to do with concentric rings of spheres of existence. Heaven is in the outermost sphere.

A map of Existence according to Dante. [via Kinkanon]

A map of Existence according to Dante. [via Kinkanon]

As Western concepts have become more technical, so Heavenly maps have become more diagrammatic:

Chart of Heaven by Clarence Larkin, about 1895.

Chart of Heaven by Clarence Larkin, about 1895.

But ecstatic visions still occur and are recorded by those who do not fear social judgment.Brenda Davis paints what she dreams. “I can’t help it. God knows I can’t read or write, so he tells me the stories.” Here is her “Map to Heaven”:

heaven_freeman

The most exact maps to Heaven are possibly those made by Athapaskan tribes in northeastern British Columbia. Hugh Brody has written of this in his great Maps And Dreams. Hunters, some of them, would dream of the hunt they would have and the game they would take. This was a special gift of a few. Amongst these, some would also dream of Heaven and the way to get there. The maps that are made from dreams are very special and not to be seen except on special occasions, such as when the Beaver people were trying to convince certain bureaucrats that they did indeed understand their area in geographic terms and had mapped it. They brought a moosehide bundle into the meeting place:

…they untied the bundle’s thongs and began very carefully to pull back the cover. …the contents seemed to be a thick layer of hide, pressed tightly together. With great care, Aggan took this hide from its cover and began to open the layers. It was a magnificent dream map.
The dream map was as large as the table top, and had been folded tightly for many years. It was covered with thousands of short, firm, and variously colored markings. …Up here is heaven; this is the trail that must be followed; here is a wrong direction; this is where it would be worst of all to go; and over there are all the animals….all of this had been discovered in dreams.
…it was wrong to unpack a dream map except for very special reasons. But…the hearing was important. Everyone must look at the map now. …They should realize, however, that intricate routes and meanings of a dream map are not easy to follow. There was not time to explain them all. The visitors crowded around the table, amazed and confused.
A corner of the map was missing…someone had died who would not easilly find his way to heaven, so the owner of the map had cut a piece of it and buried it with the body. With the aid of even a fragment…the dead man would probably find the correct trail, and when the owner of the map died, it would all be buried with him. His dreams of the trail to heaven would then serve him well.

But the bureaucrats did not understand the map nor the Beaver people’s claim to the land. Their mindset was biased toward the geological survey maps being used by the companies who wanted to build a pipeline through Beaver territory. So it is: we are unable to understand the maps of others and we lose our way to heaven.

The End Is Nigh, Philosophize!

Mayan pie celebing the beginning of  new 5000 year cycle, December 19. [Moises Castillo/AP]

Mayan priests celebrating the beginning of new 5000 year cycle, December 19. [Moises Castillo/AP]

Well, somehow it seems like we escaped oblivion yet again. I say again, because this has occurred many times before and certainly will repeat. Now, recognizing that our existence will continue for a while longer, now is the time to sit back with a glass of something or other and ruminate on the notion of the End of the World. But if that’s too much work, then drain your glass while reading Brillat-Savarin’s meditation on the subject from The Physiology of Taste: or Meditations on Transcendental Gastronomy published in 1825:

Meditation 10

The End of the World

…Indubitable signs teach us that this globe has already undergone several complete changes, which have been in effect ends of the world; and I do not know what instinct it is that warns us that there will be still more of them.

Often before now we have believed these revolutions ready to happen, and there are many people still living who once hurried to confess their sins because of the watery comet predicted by the good Jerome Lalande.

According to what has been written on the subject, we seem only too eager to surround such a catastrophe with avenging fury, with destructive angels and the sound of trumpets, and other no less horrifying accompaniments.

Alas, we do not need such histrionics to be destroyed; we are not worth a funeral display, and if God wishes it he can change the whole surface of the globe without such exertion on his part.

Let us suppose, for instance, that one of those wandering stars, whose paths and purposes are unknown to any of us, and whose appearance is always accompanied by a legendary fear, let us suppose, I say, that such a comet flies near enough to the sun to be charged with a terrible excess of heat, and that it then comes near enough to us to cause a six-month period of a general temperature of about 170 degrees Fahrenheit (twice as hot as that of the comet of 1811).

At the end of this murderous period, all animal and vegetable life will have perished, and all sounds have died away, the earth will turn silently until other circumstances have developed other germs of creation on it; and still the cause of out disaster will lie lost in the vast halls of outer space, and we shall have passed no nearer to it than a few million leagues.

This happening is as possible as any other, and it has always been for me a tempting thing to dream upon, and one I have never shunned.

It is a strange experience to follow, in spirit, this unearthly heat, to try to predict the effects of it and its development and the way it acts and then to ask:

What happens during the first day of it, and the second, and so on until the last one?
What about the air, the earth, the waters on the earth, and the forming and mixing and exploding of all the gases?
What happens to mankind, according to age, sex,and strength or weakness?
What about man’s obedience to law, his submission to authority, his respect of other people and the property of his fellows?
What does he do about trying to escape from the situation?
What happens to the ties of love, of friendship and of kinship, of selfishness and devotion to others?
What about religious sentiments, faith, resignation, hope, et cetera, et cetera?

History can supply us with a few facts about the moral reactions; for the end of the world has already been predicted more than once, and even fixed on a certain date.

I really feel ashamed about not telling my readers how I myself have decided all these questions; but I do not wish to deprive them of the pleasure of doing it for themselves. It can eliminate a few insomniac hours for them, and even pave the way for some daytime siestas.

Real danger tears down all social ties. For instance, in the epidemic of yellow fever which struck Philadelphia in 1792 or thereabouts, husbands closed doors against wives who shared their homes, children abandoned their fathers, and other such phenomena were common.

Quod a nobis Deus avertat! [God keep that from us!]

[translated by M.F.K. Fisher]

Thus Brillat-Savarin laid out the conflicts that we are all familiar with when confronted by the question, How do we deal with survival and other people during or after nuclear holocaust? Killer meteor strike? Total climate collapse? Flesh-eating zombie apocalypse? Actually, Brillat-Savarin might have a few more words to say about the last, since his book is about food. I can visualize a chapter on the preparation of brains for example.

end_brillat

A free download of The Physiology of Taste is here, but I recommend the M.F.K. Fisher translation, because Ms. Fisher, a pre-eminent writer about food, lards the book with her own observations on cuisine: The Physiology of Taste: or Meditations on Transcendental Gastronomy

Catching Up On Old Posts

Here’s some new stuff about these posts:

The Death of Neil Heywood:
As expected, Gu Kailai was found guilty of murder and Bo Xilai’s political career seems to be done. He may yet stand trial, though all is rumor at this point. Likewise, Wang Lijun may stand trial, once he is released from the “vacation-style” medical facility where he is being held. Questions about the murder remain. One persistent story is that Wang Lijun kept a vial of blood from Heywood’s body before it was cremated so that he could prove that Gu Kailai murdered Heywood with cyanide. An e-book on the affair by Australian journalist John Garnaut: The Rise and Fall of the House of Bo sums up current knowledge. Garnaut thinks that we may never know the full story.

John McAfee Is On The Run:
 Using his blog as a dodge, McAfee slipped into Guatemala where he claimed asylum. Puzzled authorities asked asylum from what? Belize had issued no arrest warrant and authorities said that they simply wanted to question McAfee. McAfee claimed that he was in danger of being murdered if he returned to Belize. Guatemala said that he had entered the country illegally and now must leave. After some legal wrangling and a faked heart attack, McAfee managed to get himself shipped back to the US. He was last heard of in Miami where he claims to be waiting for his Belizean girl friend, One reason given for McAfee’s leaving the US in the first place was to avoid a Wrongful Death lawsuit in Arizona. Now McAfee claims not to have any money in the US. Few believe him. Journalist Jeff Wise, who has reported on McAfee for years believes that the man has fried his brains on “bath salts” = cathinone-like drugs or MDVP. In a series of posts to a Russian drugs forum, McAfee claimed MDVP to be the best drug ever. Later, he claimed that the messages were all a joke. Who the hell knows?

Is Football Finished?:
The notion behind the post was that concussions would end American football. One of the articles linked there suggested that the end would come when people started suing colleges and universities for brain injuries suffered while playing ball. Since then, there have been some high profile examples of concussed college players being sent back into the fray. Professional sports have adopted certain protocols for dealing with concussion that involve time spent away from play and medical examination. College sports have no such guidelines and the NCAA seems unwilling to deal with the problem, because even acknowledging the situation might make the Association liable. So, when the lawsuits are filed, they will be aimed at individual schools. We’ll see how long that takes before something really happens. Meanwhile, the NFL keeps tweaking the rules to try to lessen the danger of concussions. One move has been to move the point of kickoff further up the field — to the 35-yard line presently — so as to force more touchbacks and fewer returns that end in particularly high-speed impacts. Some are advocating ending kickoffs altogether.

Gendarme at the Bugarach roadblock. [Patrick Aventurier/Getty Images]

Gendarme at the Bugarach roadblock. [Patrick Aventurier/Getty Images]

The End Is Nigh, Find the High Ground:
The village of Bugarach has been declared off-limits to doomsters, but the horde of outsiders who have descended on the town have been mostly journalists. Not finding the swarms of VW vans and crowds of doomed New Agers, the Press became upset and has blamed the mayor for starting a false rumor. Well, at one point it wasn’t so false and, before French authorities cordoned off the mountain, a number of folks did get up top. Anyway, this story is happening right this minute and may require further updates — if that is still possible tomorrow.

The Christian War On Christmas

It’s that time of the year again, that time when right-wing fantasists bloviate about the War On Christmas. In a sense, they are correct — there have been efforts to do away with Christmas for centuries — but these anti-Xmas efforts have been Christian in origin. My mother’s Scots Presbyterian ancestors banned Christmas in 1583, faced down a royal attempt to reinstate the holiday, and outlawed it by Parliamentary decree in 1640. English Puritans followed suit. During the period when England’s government was a Christian dictatorship, it was illegal to throw a party or hang any decorations.

Christian opposition to Christmas reflected a deep suspicion of its pagan roots. Besides the north European Yule celebration, there was Roman Saturnalia, a celebration of the Winter solstice, when people dressed up, sang and danced, gambled, exchanged gifts, feasted and partied. There was a notion of turning things around (so that the dying day would begin to lengthen once more) and masters served slaves, high was low, and rules were broken.

December illustration for a Roman "calendar" of 354. Dicing is part of Saturnalia. [via Wikipedia]

December illustration for a Roman “calendar” of 354. Dicing is part of Saturnalia. [via Wikipedia]

Early Christians were generally conflicted about the idea of celebrating. Birthdays were regarded with suspicion because emperors had public celebrations of their own birth and anything that seemed like emperor-worship was anathema. Celebrating the birthday of a god was a serious problem. Still, pragmatic religious followers recognized that folks love a party and eventually came around to giving a date to Jesus’ birth (different dates for different sects) and naming it a holy day. Christ’s Mass was the early medieval version.

Medieval Christmas was a wild affair that incorporated many aspects of both Yule and Saturnalia. There was a Lord of Misrule, adapted from a similar figure in the Roman holiday, who presided over merriment and foolishness. There was a feast. There were holiday trappings like holly and miseltoe and Yule logs — all this was given a Christian plating of course, but underneath it was still the same old mid-winter party.

Frontispiece for The Vindication of Christmas", published 1652. The Puritan on the left says "Come not here." to Old Christmas in the center who replies, "I bring good cheer." The man on the street bids Old Christmas welcome, "Do not fear." Yes, it all rhymes.

Frontispiece for The Vindication of Christmas, published 1652. The Puritan on the left says “Come not here.” to Old Christmas in the center who replies, “I bring good cheer.” The man on the street bids Old Christmas welcome, “Do not fear.” Yes, it all rhymes.

Still, some Christians were suspicious of Christmas and after the Reformation, many Protestants denounced Christmas as wicked Popery. In England, it didn’t help that the champions of Christmas, the Stuart kings, were suspected of Catholic sympathies. This all culminated in the Puritan shut-down of the holiday which resulted in pro-Christmas riots. The Restoration brought back Christmas right away and it has been a great British holiday ever since. Mind you, the Puritans and Presbyterians still didn’t do much celebrating — then or any other time — but eventually they were worn down. American Presbyterians began joining in Yuletide celebrations in the mid-19th Century and there was little objection when President Grant declared December 25th to be a national holiday.

This license to party was questioned by certain Christians. New American faiths such as Seventh Day Adventism and Jehovah’s Witnesses refused to celebrate either Christmas or birthdays, so reverting back to earlier beliefs. And, as Christmas became more and more a day characterized by consumer values, American preachers began advocating that people “put Christ back into Christmas”. This also echoed some early Christian thinkers opposed to the holiday:

This festival teaches even the little children, artless and simple, to be greedy, and accustoms them to go from house to house and to offer novel gifts, fruits covered with silver tinsel. For these they receive, in return, gifts double their value, and thus the tender minds of the young begin to be impressed with that which is commercial and sordid.
[Asterias, Bishop of Amasea, in a sermon given January 1, 400 AD]

[via irregular.com]

[via irregular.com]

But those who inveigh against the “War On Christmas” generally are supporting consumerism — Christmas trees in shopping malls and the like. Of course it could not be otherwise since the War On Christmas is part of the cynical right-wing project to enlist Christians as political supporters. The large enterprises behind this project are not about to oppose the commercialization of Christmas or anything else that is good for business.

Well, I’m what Jimmy Swaggart calls a Secular Humanist, a label that I embrace. And I love Christmas. Not speaking for Christians but just for me, Christmas is a big party right when you shouldn’t have one. You know things are going to get worse. There’s going to be more snow and it’s going to get colder, cold enough so your pipes may freeze,  so cold that trees freeze in the forest and you hear them in the night cracking. Then even when it gets warmer all that snow thaws and refreezes and there’s mud and nasty slush everywhere. Christmas comes right at the beginning of the worst time of the year. And the days are short. You get up in the dark, you go to work, the sun comes up a little after, just gray light though, the sun is weak. Then, about three, you look up and the sun is setting and it gets dark and you go home in the dark. But at Christmas the days start to get a little longer and that’s the thing, you know you’ve turned some kind of corner, the light is coming back and things will get better eventually, even though you’ve got three miserable months to go. So, you throw a party, a big party, and everybody celebrates! They eat too much and they drink too much and they spend too much money and do stupid silly things and it’s all a kind of defiance. It’s saying, “Come on, show me the worst you got, I’m laughing!” This setup, this deal that humans get here on Earth – that’s what we’re defying. We’re saying, “I can take the worst there is and still celebrate!” Because, you know what? No matter how bad it sometimes gets, life is still pretty good.

The End Is Nigh, Find The High Ground

As everyone knows by now, the world is coming to an end in about a month. The Mayans say so. People everywhere are looking for a viable escape plan. Many believe that a mountain in France, Pic de Bugarach, where UFOs have been sighted, is really a kind of dome covering a huge flying saucer hangar that will open up on Doomsday to reveal a giant spaceship that will take all its passengers to another world. The French government is concerned that legions of idiots will converge on the mountain and create difficulties before dying of hunger, thirst, accident, or suicide; so the area will be closed off.

Pic de Bugarach [Wikimedia Commons]

This is not the first time that the world has ended and believers have sought the high ground — in fact, this has been a fairly common event over the centuries. One such doomsday was prophesized in Chicago in 1954 by Dorothy Martin who was receiving messages from an alien being named Sananda. Most of humanity was to be wiped out by a huge flood on December 21 and those who would be saved needed to build a special altar on a mountain top where a flying saucer would land and carry them away. A group of believers formed around Martin and the mountain idea was abandoned. The altar became Martin’s sun porch where the group would wait for the saucers to carry them away. Among the people joining the group were students of a sociologist named Leon Festinger. These were not believers, these were skeptics who wanted to study the group’s dynamics when the great deluge did not materialize.

Festinger published his findings as When Prophecy Fails and it is regarded as a classic by social scientists. The members of the Chicago group have their names changed — Dorothy Martin became Marian Keech, for example — and the locale was shifted to an imaginary city in Michigan.

Many of the group are from a nearby college. Some are students and some employed by the school. The other members have disparate backgrounds. One, called Bob Eastman in the book, has led a “rough” life after leaving the military and sounds somewhat like the Joaquin Phoenix character in The Master. The group appears to do him some good — he gives up alcohol and tobacco and settles down a bit; he has direction and purpose. What the group members have in common is a desire to find a spiritual path for themselves. They called themselves “Seekers”.

Festinger thought that the dissonance of having their beliefs shown to be false — at least in terms of the prophecy — might lead to several possible outcomes. One of these would be a shift to trying to convince others to join them. Festinger references similar groups throughout history and very specifically mentions Christianity. At any rate, the group of seekers had been very cautious about bringing in new members and rigorously examined anyone wanting to join. But when the alien spaceships did not arrive, the group members began attempting to convert others to their beliefs. Dorothy Martin went on to found a group called the Association of Sananda which is still active today.

Dorothy Martin after she became Sister Thedra, leader of Sanandra Organization. [wolflodge.org]

It is easy enough to laugh at the delusions of people seeking spiritual comfort but the book avoids that. Certainly there is some pathos:

The Armstrongs’ son, who had never believed firmly but who was committed to the ideology by his parents’ actions, awoke on the morning of the 21st to listen to the news and then returned to bed where he remained, face to the wall and uncommunicative for almost the rest of the day.

So the lesson is, after December 21 there will be a host of people trying to convince you that the Mayan prophecy was the real deal, just misinterpreted. They will have groups and texts and websites. Before you react to them remember this: December 21 is when the sun dies. Thus it has been for millennia and humans have often felt called upon to assist the solar rebirth – sometimes with human sacrifice. UFOs are a far more genial form of delusion and I don’t want to mock them too much for fear that seekers will find a darker path.

More:

After the Prophecy
Apocalypse Oak Park
Field Guide A personal take on the Festinger book
Apocalypse 2011

Sinéad O’Connor Twenty Years After

Twenty years ago today, during a Saturday Night Live performance, Sinéad O’Connor ripped up a photo of Pope John Paul II. There was an immediate outcry from critics, journalists, and, a week later, SNL host and noted theologian, Joe Pesci. O’Connor’s career never recovered. When she attempted to perform Bob Marley’s “War” at a Bob Dylan concert, she was booed off the stage. Now, twenty years on, Michael Agresta takes a fresh look at the event.

[click to see performance via YouTube]

Agresta listened to what O’Connor had to say: she added some fresh lyrics to “War” about child abuse as one of the Catholic Church’s sins. This isn’t news today, but it was then. In fact, most people (including me, I have to admit) missed the allusion altogether and thought O’Connor was protesting abortion/contraception policies or something. But O’Connor, when anyone bothered to ask, was quite clear about what angered her:

In Ireland we see our people are manifesting the highest incidence in Europe of child abuse. This is a direct result of the fact that they’re not in contact with their history as Irish people and the fact that in the schools, the priests have been beating the shit out of the children for years and sexually abusing them. This is the example that’s been set for the people of Ireland. They have been controlled by the church, the very people who authorized what was done to them, who gave permission for what was done to them.

The Time magazine interviewer didn’t really grasp what O’Connor was saying, so she tried to explain by giving some personal history. She said she had been subjected to every kind of abuse:

Sexual and physical. Psychological. Spiritual. Emotional. Verbal. I went to school every day covered in bruises, boils, sties and face welts, you name it. Nobody ever said a bloody word or did a thing. Naturally I was very angered by the whole thing… [Time interview, November 9, 1992, behind a pay wall, unfortunately.]

Her mother, said O’Connor, was a Valium addict, a product of Catholic schools. Later, when O’Connor went to an Adult Children of Alcoholics-type group, she got a handle on her situation. The photo of the Pope that she tore up? That had belonged to her mother: “The photo itself had been on my mother’s bedroom wall since the day the fucker was enthroned in 1978.”

Young Sinéad, striped shirt.

O’Connor herself was incarcerated in a Magdalene laundry, an Irish institution for wayward girls, at the age of 15. The Magdalenes have been criticized by the UN Committee Against Torture and one Magdalene being sold by nuns trying to make up stock market losses turned out to have twenty-two unregistered anonymous corpses buried out back.

After Pope Benedict apologized in 2010 for the Irish abuse cover-up, O’Connor criticized him for calling the cover-up “well-intentioned” and called for a boycott of the Church. She told Rachel Maddow that she is a believer who wants to free the Church from those who have brought it into disrepute. And in the Los Angeles Times:

I’m a Catholic, and I love God. . . . That’s why I object to what these people are doing to the religion that I was born into. . . .

I’m passionately in love and always have been with what I call the Holy Spirit, which I believe the Catholic Church have held hostage and still do hold hostage. I think God needs to be rescued from them. They are not representing Christian values and Christian attitudes. If they were truly Christian, they would’ve confessed ages ago, and we wouldn’t be having to batter the door down and try to get blood from a stone.

Sometimes angry people are dismissed when they do or say things other people find disturbing. Often these angry people are absolved over time. Sinéad O’Connor paid a price for expressing her anger and for telling truths that people weren’t ready to hear. She is a brave woman who has finally been awarded some of the respect that she has earned.

Leo Taxil’s Confession

In 1873, residents of Marseille were horrified to learn that a great infestation of sharks had gathered in the sea just off-shore. Fishermen wrote letters to the local press detailing their narrow escapes from these man-eaters. Local authorities begged for help and a force of a hundred soldiers was dispatched on a tugboat  to engage and destroy these monsters. This expedition searched every cove but could find no school of sharks. The fishermen’s letters were examined and were found to be all written in the same hand. An official inquiry concluded that the city had been hoaxed.

Léo Taxil, 1896

Twenty-four years later, the author of that hoax, Léo Taxil, finally confessed, or rather, bragged, that he was responsible. Taxil was nineteen at the time of the shark hoax. A few years later he perpetrated another hoax about a sunken city under Lake Geneva that soon had scholars expounding on Atlantis and pre-Noah society. These were only two of the hoaxes pulled off by Taxil who called hoaxing “a noble career”:

Among the maxims of the culinary art, an often-quoted one says: “One becomes cook, but one is born a roaster.” Perfection in the science of roasting cannot be learned. I believe the same can be said of pranksterism: one is born a prankster.

Taxil’s self-congratulation was part of the revelation of his greatest hoax, one that fooled Pope Leo XIII and continues to mislead people today, a hundred and fifteen years after Taxil confessed to it. That hoax claims to show that Masons are Satanists.

Taxil was born Marie Joseph Gabriel Antoine Jogand-Pagès in Marseille. When he was five, his parents sent him off to a Jesuit school. Perhaps they were hoping that their son would find a religious vocation; instead he developed a hatred of priests and religion.

“Let there be Light!” Illustration for Genesis in the Amusing Bible

The young man relocated to Paris and adopted the pen name Léo Taxil. He worked sometimes as an artist, sometimes as a writer. He wrote The Amusing Bible and its New Testament sequel, The Life of Jesus, satiric reconstructions of Bible stories.

Taxil specialized in the roman-feuilletons of the day, French versions of the English penny dreadful, pulp fiction of a sensational variety. He enjoyed anti-clerical themes and sold series after series of lurid tales.

Some of Taxil’s work purported to be truth, exposes of the Catholic church, the sort of thing that had been common in France for two centuries. The anti-monarchist, anti-church stance of republicanism intensified French anti-Catholicism after the revolution of 1789. France went through a period of anti-church churches including a Cult of Reason and a non-specific deist state religion. After Napoleon, the Church came back into favor but a great deal of anti-Catholicism had become embedded in the nation’s beliefs. Taxil wrote from a very anti-Catholic position though those who bought his writings were probably more interested in them as pornography rather than philosophic arguments. In 1879, Taxil was charged and tried for insulting a religion recognized by the state. He was acquitted.

Some of Taxil’s work. First issue free, 10 centimes each for those that follow.

These were difficult times for the Catholic Church: republicanism had become the favored political form in Latin America and Europe and republican rejection of king and God was troubling to an organization that had been an official part of European states since Constantine accepted Christianity. Pope Leo XIII determined to reconcile the Church with modern society. He intervened in South American affairs, kept Prussia from persecuting Catholics, and worked out a deal with the new nation of Italy over governance of the Vatican. And he accepted the French republic. All this was necessary at a time when some nations were actually outlawing the Catholic Church. But, while beating a path toward modernity, the pope made one or two slips. He said, in an encyclical of 1884, that there were two warring parties on earth — one was the party of truth and God, the other was of Satan’s kingdom. People interpretated this to mean that certain persons and groups were evil. Some held that Freemasonry, forbidden to Catholics since 1738, was one such group.

Shortly after the encyclical, Léo Taxil announced his return to Catholicism. He had taken a brief turn toward Freemasonry, he said, but now had found the true path. Apparently Taxil was in a Masonic lodge for a short time but was either booted out or left of his own accord. Whatever the facts of that episode, Taxil soon began writing anti-Masonic tracts, as he done anti-Catholic tracts before.

Taxil turns to anti-Masonic rather than anti-Catholic writing.

First, Taxil wrote a history of Freemasonry in four thick volumes that reported much bogus testimony about Masons practicing Satanic rites. Then he began the long series The Devil in the Nineteenth Century (Le Diable au XIXe Siècle) which consisted of information from a Dr. Bataille who had travelled the world in search of enlightenment. In his travels, Bataille met an American woman, Diana Vaughan, who had become a sort of vestal virgin of Satanism. Vaughan was able to put on quite the performance:

“I am certain of the celestial protection of the Genii of Light,” said Diana, and, producing her talisman, she bent her right knee to the ground, turned a complete somersault without falling, flung her tambourine into the air, which descended gently and remained suspended a yard from the ground, while she herself, passing into a condition of ecstasy, also rose into the air in a recumbent posture. She remained in this state for the space of fifteen minutes, the silence being only broken by the distant rumbling of thunder. Many of the spectators could not believe their eyes. At length very gently her body assumed a vertical position, head downwards, but as a concession to polite feeling the remaining laws of gravity were suspended, like herself, and her skirts were not correspondingly inverted.

Bataille claimed to have discovered a new version of Freemasonry that he called “Palladian”. This was a devil-worshipping cult and Diana Vaughan was deeply involved; deeply involved, that is, until she decided with the help of Bataille to break free. Diana had spoken the name of Joan of Arc and at once saints and angels and heavenly messengers descended around her. Right away she was convinced that she should break free from Satanism.

Baphomet leading Diana Vaughan down the road paved with good intentions.

This was hot stuff and the public gobbled up the endless installments in Taxil’s work at 10 centimes each. Other writers took up the cause. Anti-Masonic literature had begun appearing around the beginning of the 18th Century. So the sides were drawn: Catholicism on one side, Freemasonry on the other. In France, anyway, that was the choice.

One anti-Masonic author, A. C. de la Rive, corresponded with Diana Vaughan who told him of an amazing  letter from the American Mason, Albert Pike. Pike, an ex-Confederate general, was Supreme Commander of the southern U.S. masons. According to Vaughan, he had sent out a missive that said:

The Masonic religion must be, by all of us initiates of the high grades, maintained in the purity of the LUCIFERIAN doctrine. If Lucifer were not God, Adonai (the God of the Christians) whose deeds prove his cruelty, perfidy and hatred of man, his barbarism and repulsion of science, if Lucifer were not God, would Adonai and his priests slander him?

Now Diana Vaughan was American, so she must be telling the truth about American masonry which was based in Charleston, South Carolina and whose Supreme leader was Albert Pike, according to her statement. American Masons had declared for separation of church and state during their revolution, so French Catholics were well aware that they were opposed to the old Church order. There was no internet then nor even long distance telephones, so no one managed to check with General Pike to see if he really said those words. Anyway, he was a Satanist and thus a liar by definition.

Not everyone was taken in. A number of church authorities believed Taxil’s writings to be fiction but they were overwhelmed by those who wanted to believe otherwise. The young Thérèse Martin, who was to be canonized in the early 21st Century as Saint Thérèse of Lisieux, certainly believed. Eventually, Pope Leo XIII became involved and, in 1887, had an audience with Taxil. The pope was charmed and soon rebuked the bishop of Charleston who had called the Pike missive a hoax.

Thérèse Martin, later Saint Thérèse, posing as Joan of Arc. Both she and Diana Vaughan were inspired by Joan and this photo was used by Taxil to mock her.

So things stood for years as Taxil and his cronies cranked out the tales of Freemasonry devils and debauchery. Perhaps some noticed that these were pretty much the same tales that Taxil had written as an anti-Catholic only with lodge commanders instead of priests and magic instead of miracles. 

In 1896, A.E.Waite, who wrote a great deal about mysticism and related subjects, examined the evidence and concluded that the notion that Masonry = Satanism was false. Everything, he said in his book Devil Worship in France, hinged on the testimony of Diana Vaughan and it was long past time that she should appear publicly and speak to these matters — that is, if she existed at all. That was the general cry in France: show us Diana or we may conclude that she is a figment of someone’s imagination. So, in 1897, Léo Taxil announced a grand public event where Ms. Vaughan would appear and answer questions.

Diana Vaughan, circa 1897

On April 19th, Léo Taxil appeared before an audience at the French Geographic Society ampitheater. When those gathered demanded to see Diana Vaughan, Paxil pointed to her typewriter which he had brought to the hall. Vaughan worked for Paxil as a typist. She typed up whatever he was writing and, when he needed documentation, wrote out letters in her own hand from his dictation, such as the one to de la Rive about Pike. No Dr. Bataille existed.

Oh yes, said Taxil, it was all a great prank and he had fooled them all, including the pope. [transcript here] The purpose of the exercise, said Paxil, was to show the utter stupidity of the Catholic Church which would believe anything. On one wall was projected a photo that had been taken of Thérèse Martin dressed as Joan of Arc which was compared to Vaughan’s dramatic fictional conversion. So he had fooled them all, said Paxil, the church, priests (many of them in his audience), and a much-publicized young woman who was later to be canonized.

In 1897, Edmond Frank wrote in l’Illustration:

“The most colossal hoax of modern times”, this is how Mr. Léo Taxil himself termed his enterprise, and, in his modest success, he does not hesitate to give himself the title of king of modern pranksters. He flatters himself in having used his natural talents, perfected with a gradual training, for the good of society, infected with the virus of superstition. Since the odiousness of his parodies and contradictory mummeries seem to evade Mr. Taxil, let us not pause to scold him on this point; let us stick to considering him the joyous and gigantic prankster that he claims to be. …The unique concession that we might make to his vanity is to note that he is one of the first to have erected a social career, an industrial profession, on the art of fraud, nevertheless still classifying it among the flimsy fantasies. …There is little to envy in seeing another, alone in amusing himself with his own self-importance; it is ungraceful to dress oneself up with human credulity when one is such a superb example of credulity in sincerely believing oneself the greatest hoaxer of the century.

Diana, the typewriter, and affronted priests at the big confession.

After his great confession, Paxil was forced to leave Paris for a time. He lived another ten years but never pulled off another hoax as important as that of the Palladian Masons. Vaughan at one point was a sales rep for a typewriter company. Paxil had paid her a hundred and fifty francs a month to participate in his scheme, but he said she was so much into the whole thing that she would have done it for nothing. There are stories that the two were sexually involved which is not impossible. The pope excommunicated Taxil and then tried to put the entire affair behind him. Paxil reissued his Amusing Bible and included a letter to the pope as preface. Thérèse Martin died a few months after Taxil’s show. Life went on.

Léo Taxil becomes the devil.

You might think that, once the entire Palladian business was admitted to be a fraud, that people would forget it, but that isn’t the case. Taxil’s work and that of other anti-Masonic writers like de la Vine continue to be reprinted and cited as sources in all kinds of anti-Masonic literature:

Besides Jack Chick (who isn’t that friendly to Catholicism, either) cult investigators often refer to Taxil’s more lurid work. Most of them, IMO, haven’t even read the guy’s stuff, they just recycle quotes from other anti-Masonic authors. Some are so invested in this nonsense that they claim that there was no hoax or that Taxil’s confession never happened at the same time that they quote General Pike’s letter which is only known through Taxil.

There are funny pranks, meant to be believed only so long as you don’t think about them very much, that are amusing and harmless. But it is easier to get people to believe than it is to renounce their beliefs, so hoaxes can have a very negative effect. Satire is dangerous.

Jack Chick Dramatized

Jack Chick’s tracts are well-known, maybe forty million have been distributed around the world. Now, some are being dramatized. Here’s an example: Bewitched, originally published in 1972 and reprinted (with a character name change) in 2000.

The comic begins in Hell where Satan delays a meeting so that he can watch his favorite show: Bewitched. Why is this his favorite? Because it’s part of an insidious plan to make witchcraft and related wickedness acceptable.

Dramatization of above panels

At the meeting, Satan gets reports on the booming sales of tarot cards and ouija boards, pornography, rising rate of homosexuality, one-world government, and ecumenicalism. Yes, these are all satanic and evil and flourishing like the green bay tree. But there’s one difficulty: a believing grandmother who just won’t stop praying for Ashley, who is otherwise in Satan’s clutches. Her mother is already in Hell and her father (who we never see) is damned.

Satan’s minions get Ashley to attend a seance where the spirit of her mother appears and tells Ashley that everything is okay, But we know that this is not Ashley’s mother, it’s a demon! Meanwhile, Ashley’s granny prays that God will make her come visit so that she can show Ashley the true path.

Curses! Satan’s plan seems to be foiled but wait! Ashley has done so much acid mixed with speed that her circulatory system has begun to “gel”. Ashley has an acid flashback and a massive heart attack.

 

Ashley’s grandmother prays for God to stave off her death and give the girl a chance to repent. He does and she does, then she dies, but Ashley’s grandmother is content and thanks the Lord for allowing Ashley’s name to be written in the Book of Life. An amazing story! And, before you ask, the dramatization is faithful to the original so the creators’ intent, whether mockery or not, is immaterial.

Full text of Bewitched may be read here.
Video dramatization may be seen here.

John Titor, Time-Traveller

In November of the year 200o someone calling themself Timetravel_0 began posting to internet forums. This person soon announced that his name was John Titor and he was from the future, the year 2036. John belonged to the Temporal Corps, a unit formed in his day to travel into the past and return with much-needed technology. You see, in 2036 the United States has been ravaged by disease and civil war and society lies in ruins.

Titor's time machine mounted in his car. (photobasement.com)

John readilly answered all the questions put to him in the forums: his time machine involved a micro-black hole, a “microsingularity”, mounted in an automobile chassis (a Chevy Corvette); there is no “grandfather paradox” about altering the past, since time travel involves visiting a paralell universe in which John Titor’s grandfather is the ancestor of a different John Titor; nevertheless the future as John describes it is the future of this time line, he is certain of it since time-lines diverge very little over a period of a few years; the technology he is trying to fetch back is an IBM 5100 computer because this ancient piece of cyber-tech has the capacity to debug a flaw in Linux code that will crash Linux computers in 2038, also John wants to visit family; the United States has collapsed into small rural units, John lives in Florida; a world war in 2015 will kill 3 billion people; Mad Cow disease, latent in the population, erupts in most meat-eaters; and lots lots more.

Questions designed to attack John’s veracity were answered in several ways: it would be immoral to tell you the winner of the Stanley Cup so that you could bet on it; the technology of time travel is only known in a very general to John as are other scientific fields, “If you went into the past, could you explain electricity?”; some questions were answered with a shrug, “I don’t know”.

IBM 5100 in action, 1975. Apparently, John did not take back a dot matrix printer. (ibm.com)

In March, 2001, John Titor announced that he was returning to the future. A book, A Time Traveler’s Tale, written by John (or his mother) was published and a number of websites discussed the episode. Of course many thought the whole thing was a hoax and an amazing amount of research went into discovering that, in 1997 - 1998, someone claiming to be a time-traveller who seemed very much like the later John Titor, called in to Art Bell’s talk show. The 1997 time-traveller warned of the collapse of civilization on January 1, 2000. (Y2K, remember?) Other people noted the resemblance of John’s world to that of Pat Frank’s novel, Alas Babylon, also about the collapse of the United States. And, there seemed to be a convergence of Titor stuff around a Florida entertainment lawyer named Larry Haber.

Haber owns the various operations that control John Titor’s legacy — the JohnTitor Foundation, for instance, and he holds the trademark for Titor’s time travel insignia. He is the number one candidate for originator of the Titor hoax, if it was a hoax.

Now many things that John Titor predicted have failed to occur. He said that the 2004 Olympics would be the last one. He said that civil war, defined as an escalating series of Waco-type events, would begin in the US in 2004. He predicted great outbreaks of Mad Cow disease and so forth. The further we get from 2001, the less accurate are John Titor’s predictions.

John Titor's temporal unit insignia.

Nevertheless, many people are still convinced that John Titor was a genuine time-traveller. In fact some claim that there was a John 1 and a John 2 which explain the Art Bell phone-ins. They explain the inaccuracies in a number of ways, including the notion that John was speaking in code or riddles. And some of these believers talk about the divergence between timelines being greater than John Titor imagined.

Which brings up the question of why? Why do these people want to believe? One answer is political: many believers are American patriots who think their nation in a state of collapse. For them John Titor is a prophet of the American apocalypse. But there are other kinds of believers, too, those for who the coming apocalypse is religious rather than political. And there are those who see John Titor as a messenger of hope, a sign that the world will continue after all even in the face of disaster. And there are those who see Titor as a prophet of warning, rather than doom, telling us of a future that can yet be avoided.

None of us should feel superior to the Titor-believers. No matter how rational we think we are, our worldviews are tissues fabricated from faiths and beliefs that we accept as Truths. A hoaxer who saw his own hoax become a religion said, “There is nothing wrong with paranoia as long as it is pursued with vigor and humor… The problem is that people are not paranoid enough. Be paranoid about your paranoia.”